flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
