Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
