i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize