we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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