she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
