Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
