I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
