Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
