so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
