I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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