awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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