My sheets look like a crime scene.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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