why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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