ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You smell like stripper and shame
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?