Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...