Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Come on in and take your pants off
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