I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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