i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
nutella sex= disaster
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
