Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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