girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
