in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
