i can't believe i had my finger in that
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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