I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
