My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
