just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
