i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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