After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I supernannyed him into submission
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
