Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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