and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
