Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
