batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
