I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
