this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
