Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize