It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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