If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
