yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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