why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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