She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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