Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
