Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
