i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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