she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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