i just had sex bonerless
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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