I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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