You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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