Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
