the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
