I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
