YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
