If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
