I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
