It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Randomize
