Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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