this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
40s are totally the cure
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
