i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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